SLAA, withdrawal

backache is easier than insanity


I woke up today with a backache, i think I am not dressed warm enough or the bed i am sleeping in is not good for my back. bottomline is I am experiencing pain and pain is a trigger for me. I am familiar with drowning pain “medicating it” in the depth of my depth of my addiction.

I also got a text from my wife asking me to come help with the kids so she can rest as she had a rough night. I didn’t jump to the rescue but I jumped to resentment. I have them full time and I deal with the rough nights pretty much every night since we separated, why couldn’t she do it for a few nights. anyway, i quickly dropped the thought, went and showered, fed the dog breakfast and drove over to home. they were all getting ready to leave so I spent just a bit of time with the kids before they left then sat to have breakfast cause i haven’t figured out the kitchen in the house where I am staying.

I returned back to the house where I am staying, did a bit for work from home and took a nap. the back pain triggered the thought “i need a massage” which i probably do, but no i don’t. I got up, got my stuff ready and drove to the office. I got a phone call from another addict and I had a nice recover conversation. I got to my desk and started working working working until i finished what i needed to finish. I also recorded and edited a video for my YouTube channel! whoohoo, it had been a couple of months since my last video.

after i finished, i went to a SLAA meeting, talked recovery, then drove by carl’s jr to get dinner and drove straight home. I watched the movie Race. heartache. thank goodness we went from a Black gold medalist not being acknowledged by the White House, to a Black president in the white house. I guess Yay for humanity, we are making progress in some areas.

I will say some prayers and go to sleep.

8 days of full withdrawal, 28 Days sober

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Recovery, SLAA, withdrawal

Another day has come and gone


My wife had one of the girls sleeping with her. I slep a bit later than I should last night. Woke up to find that my other girl had a fever and had caught cold. I managed to hold her close and help her sleep an it longer. Then got up, had a bit of breakfast and I spent time with my son and my daughter. Managed to put the little girl for a nap. Then played snakes and ladders with my sons and flew paper planes. It was lots of fun. 

My wife arrived with our middle daughter. I started packing as … well a bit of background…. It is school holidays and the kids are home full time. So my wife and I (we are separated at the moment and she lives elsewhere and I have the kids with me) anyway my wife and I agreed she’ll have them one week and I will have the other till the end of the school break. Today is the start of her week. 

So I packed, said goodbye to the kids and hit the road. I am house sitting at a friend’s place. I went first to pick a friend up from the airport and hand out with her and show her the city. We had a simple meal together and then eventually sent her home to where she is staying. 

I dropped off by home to pick up some items I forgot. The two older kids were still up so I gave them long hugs and head out. Hung out with my friend and her partner and chatted for a bit.  Now I am lying on a bed in my sleeping bag. Will say a prayer after posting this and go to sleep. 

22 days sober 5 days full withdrawal 

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SLAA

Parenting helps


It was Saturday here. It is also Christmas Eve. I had the girls with me all morning. Did some cleaning fed the girls lunch. Put the little one down for a nap. My wife brought my our son home after lunch. I took him and his sister to go the pool but they closed early. We want to the mall instead. Some shopping and playing then home for dinner and more playing an then 2 hours of attempting to put them to sleep. I think I started too early. 

I was doing okay all day. The lengthy bedtime routine got on my nerves a bit but otherwise still happy and sober. Being a parent keeps me in check. 

Third day of full withdrawal, check!! 

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Food, SLAA, withdrawal

Second day and counting. 


So I’ve been sober for roughly 18 days today and in full withdrawal for two days. Today was meh I wasn’t inspired work wise I really want to find another job. 

Summary of the day. I went to work, had a few outreach calls, spoke to my mom and sis over the phone did some more work. I went home early, had a short argument with my dad played with the kids. Had dinner. Played some more. Put two of my kids to sleep as the eldest when to spend the night with his mom. Had another argument with my dad. Watched tv and over ate. Or binge ate. 

But hey I am sober another day. 

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