every now and then I get flashbacks of times where I acted out on my addiction, or times where I had the opportunity of acting out and I didn’t. when that happens, the feeling that follows this flashback is one of regret. I keep thinking about what I could have done to have more fun but didn’t do. asking myself the question, “I wasn’t in recovery then, why didn’t I just do this or do that”.
today I got my answer. I didn’t do this or that because God intervened. Yes I may have not been in recovery then, or I may have been in a relapse but regardless, the action and the motive were wrong, and sometimes God intervened to save me from myself. so now when I am feeling low and ready to give it all up I can remember that God can intervene again if I seek his help.