Parenting helps

It was Saturday here. It is also Christmas Eve. I had the girls with me all morning. Did some cleaning fed the girls lunch. Put the little one down for a nap. My wife brought my our son home after lunch. I took him and his sister to go the pool but they closed early. We want to the mall instead. Some shopping and playing then home for dinner and more playing an then 2 hours of attempting to put them to sleep. I think I started too early. 

I was doing okay all day. The lengthy bedtime routine got on my nerves a bit but otherwise still happy and sober. Being a parent keeps me in check. 

Third day of full withdrawal, check!! 

Second day and counting. 

So I’ve been sober for roughly 18 days today and in full withdrawal for two days. Today was meh I wasn’t inspired work wise I really want to find another job. 

Summary of the day. I went to work, had a few outreach calls, spoke to my mom and sis over the phone did some more work. I went home early, had a short argument with my dad played with the kids. Had dinner. Played some more. Put two of my kids to sleep as the eldest when to spend the night with his mom. Had another argument with my dad. Watched tv and over ate. Or binge ate. 

But hey I am sober another day. 

You again

I decided today 22/12/2016 to start a period of withdrawal and get back to recovery. I really don’t want to do this but hey first day just passed. 

Maybe short daily posts to check in will be beneficial for me. I will do them from my phone before I go to bed. Nothing fancy. 

Summary of the day is as follows. Rough night with one of my kids. Okay day at work. A couple of outreach calls. Picked the keys to the house I am sitting next week. Had dinner at home. Went to a SLAA meeting. 

Now I will shower, say some prayers, message some recovery partner and go to bed. 

Good night 

Did you miss me

Part of me is hoping that I was missed and that same part of me was hoping that those who missed me would right and check on me. I have done that to other addicts i used to follow. I would send them asking how they’ve been if they hadn’t posted for longer than usual. at the time, i was not expecting anything in return. I wasn’t thinking that i should do this so that when i am in their shoes someone would check on me. it was done with pure motive to genuinely check on them. So I guess I was hoping for the likes of me out there to get in touch.

but anyway. I am here. I am still working on my imperfect recovery. as I type these lines, i have been 2 weeks Sober. Yeah I had another slip.

I am going through so much at the moment. My wife and I are discussing separation, believe it or not, i am the one instigating it. My employer is laying me off. I am feeling a little overwhelmed and stressed. the good news is, i know it will pass. I know it will all turn out better soon enough. I still have to feel my feelings though.

I have been busy lately and will continue to be. so not sure when is the next time i will be posting something, but hey. get in touch between now and my next post.

Withdrawal Day30

so listen to this, then read the little bit below the recording

now, thanks again for listening. i went out for dinner after i recorded this. met the guy i told you about. it was a really lovely chat. he is 15 years younger, we talked about relationship, my time in the workforce etc. it was great. we also took a walk by the viaduct enjoying the cool wind and the fragrances of the ocean.