so you get the pattern now, early morning, I wake up early to have breakfast with my mom because we are the only two fasting in the house. my wife isn’t fasting because she is pregnant. today however, she did wake up to have breakfast with us because she wasn’t supposed to have any food or drinks from 7am onward as preparation for her C-section.
it was nice to have her join us for breakfast. we spend a bit of time talking and then I had a snooze before the kids got up. then I greeted the kids, left them to my wife and the 2 grandmothers to feed them breakfast and get them ready for day-care/preschool while I got in to my office to get some work done. I am taking only half days off this week so things don’t pile up. so I did my part in the morning (workwise) then I got ready to take my wife to the hospital.
let’s go back in time, I came to SLAA in June 2014, I started working the steps in July. while I was sober prior, I had set my sobriety date to 21 July. I took step three shortly after. step three says: “made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God”. the day after I took step three I discovered that my wife is pregnant. we have two kids and we had not planned to get pregnant again. we were preventing it. but God had another plan for me. This pregnancy was the first one that I was completely sober today I am almost 8 months sober. that is so special for me.
I took my wife and drove to the hospital, talked to a number of people, answered the same set of questions at least three four times. listened to an unnecessary list of “Potential Risk” blah. but eventually we were in the operating theater for birth. I was feeling emotions of connectedness, gratitude and love I had not experienced before. I was overwhelmed by tears unlike the birth of my two other children. then an angel was born. she is so adorable.
I love children, I love holding them, and I love infants even more. I was holding my baby girl, and it felt like the most amazing thing in the world. I am so blessed and loved. I am so lucky. very grateful for recovery.
I got home when it was time for me to leave the hospital. the kids were still up which is late for them, I gave them cuddles and let the grandparents help them to sleep while I ate a late dinner to break my fast. then ran one last errand and came home. since the start of the fast I have been typing my reflections the following day. but this time I couldn’t wait to tell the world about the amazing sensation I had holding my baby girl.
more reflections to come.