Step 4 – ink to paper

kind of ink to paper cause I decided to put it on an excel spreadsheet. it is Friday today, and it was Tuesday that I took the third step. the prayer went like this:

God, I offer myself to Thee 
to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!

I recited this prayer in my head a number of times before Tuesday yet when I recited it on the phone with my sponsor it felt so powerful I got emotional. my sponsor gave me two options, to start on step 4 immediately OR right away (he’s got a sense of humour) so I guess I am at step 4.

there is a fair bet of prep work to step 4. I followed instructions (which is very unlike me) but I am turning my will and my live to the Care of God and he showed his care in choosing my sponsor and my sponsor suggested the instructions so I am following God’s will as I understand it. I finished the instructions by Thursday morning and I haven’t been able to put a pen to paper since.

just a few minutes before I wrote this entry I popped open excel and I built the table in the worksheet and started typing, looks like I am much more comfortable typing than writing. I am hoping there isn’t a specific need for me to actually write it with a pen vs. typing it. (lots of redundant comments in my previous sentences but who cares I am not undergoing review)

I know I won’t finish the list tonight, but I started. I am feeling a bit anxious and getting some butterflies in my stomach every time I approach the step. I need to go home soon so I will stop but then I will come back and keep doing it.

2 thoughts on “Step 4 – ink to paper

  1. Pingback: Step 4 – Sexual Conduct | Memoirs of a Sex and Love Addict

  2. Pingback: Angry at my Son and I blame recovery | Memoirs of a Sex and Love Addict

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